


The Joker

by simpleandpure22



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Borussia Dortmund, Light Angst, M/M, durmann
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-25
Updated: 2015-03-25
Packaged: 2018-03-19 14:03:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3612702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/simpleandpure22/pseuds/simpleandpure22
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You don't know what's hiding behind the smiles.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Joker

**Author's Note:**

  * For [dortmundbvbbabe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dortmundbvbbabe/gifts).



> Hi, I'm back :D It's been a while since I wrote a Durmann fic. I was meaning to write more because this pairing is everything, but I'm currently busy with my WIP. This one shot is requested by lovely Dortmundbvbbabe (whose story 'The Lies We Tell' is what makes me ship Durmann hard :D) with a tumblr prompt (that I'll reveal in the end notes). So, here we go!

”Come on, mate, cheer up,“ Jonas says, giving a pat on Erik’s back before lightly ruffling his hair. “It’s not your fault that we lost.”

His voice is assuring. It has the power to lighten up Erik’s glum mood; something apparently only Jonas can do. “You’re not that important,” the brunet goes on jokingly with his contagious laughter, making it hard for Erik to keep pouting.

“Thanks for your supportive words, Jonas,” Erik replies, playfully giving his friend a shove. Jonas shoves him back, ruffling his hair even more, and then they both laugh.

 _The Joker_. That’s what Jonas is known as in the team. Erik doesn’t know who starts it, but it fits Jonas so perfectly that in a short period of time everyone has started calling him that. When Erik thinks of it; Jonas is indeed The Joker. He’s funny, he’s always smiling, cracking jokes anywhere anytime. He’s the first one who’ll get over a painful defeat and make sure that Erik—well, everyone else does the same.

He seems to always know how to cheer Erik up. No matter how down the blond is, Jonas can always make him smile. Erik wishes he shared a bit of Jonas’s easy-going nature, then perhaps his life would be easier. Instead he’s nothing like Jonas; he’s _The Thinker,_ as some of their teammates have nicely christened him. He and Jonas are quite opposites in terms of personalities, but perhaps that’s why they can be good friends—because they complete each other.

Although if he’s being completely honest, it’s more like Jonas completes _him_.

Erik’s eyes never leave Jonas as the brunet talks with Mustafa, in a funny mixture of German, English and body language. _I’m way in too deep,_ he thinks, suddenly feeling melancholic. He blames it on the defeat; it can make people feel sappier than they normally would.

All of a sudden, Jonas turns his head and his gaze meets Erik’s. The grin that the brunet flashes at him is brief, it’s not more than a split second before Jonas averts his eyes back at Mustafa, who’s now having a laughing fit, but it’s enough for Erik to feel _something_ in the pit of his stomach.

It’s so overwhelming that he has to slip out of the changing room, quietly unnoticed by everyone. His feelings for Jonas are not what he’s supposed to have towards a friend. Erik only stops walking when he thinks that he has put enough distance between him and Jonas.

~*~

That day changes everything. The distance Erik has kept between Jonas and himself remains as he’s trying to keep the brunet at arm’s length. Matthias’s arrival in the team helps since Erik has known the younger boy from the National Team and he likes him a lot. So, he spends more and more time with Matthias, and less and less time with Jonas.

If Jonas notices the change, he doesn’t say anything about it. He’s still the joker who lights up the room just by his presence; cheeky and playful towards everyone. As far as the eye can see, nothing about him has changed. But on more than one occasion, Erik spots that Jonas’s gaze lingers on him when he’s with Matthias, a little longer than usual.

It hurts him, in a way, that he and Jonas are not as close as they used to be. He misses him terribly; he misses spending time with him, just the two of them. But it’s safer this way, because Erik knows Jonas can’t feel the same way about him. And until he can look at the brunet purely as a friend, he has to keep doing this. Besides, Jonas is fine without him.

“Why are you avoiding Jonas?” Matthias asks one day when they are on break during training, sitting on a bench.

The question startles Erik. Matthias always seems reserved and quiet, so Erik didn’t expect him to ask that. But apparently the boy is more observant than he thought he is. “I—it’s complicated,” Erik replies.

“I don’t understand. I thought you like him.”

“I do like him.” Too much. That’s the problem. “Can we not talk about this, Matze, please?”

Matthias shrugs lightly and then changes the subject to one of their other friends on the U-21 National Team who’s currently loaned to Kaiserslautern.

Whilst listening to Matthias, Erik’s gaze is instinctively drawn to Jonas who’s talking animatedly with Papa across the pitch. Erik averts his eyes back to Matthias, smiling when the younger boy says that he has begun to feel like home here in Dortmund, and that he’s happy to play at the same club with Erik.

“Same here,” Erik tells Matthias, patting on his shoulder with a grin. As one of the trainers says the training will start in one minute Erik stands up, and his eyes meet Jonas’s, his hand still on Matthias’s shoulder. For a long second they stare at each other, but then as quickly as it started Jonas turns away, breaking the eye contact.

~*~

“I left my gloves in the changing room,” Erik says to Matthias after the training. “Just go; I’ll meet you there.” Matthias needs some things for his flat, and Erik has promised to help him. The shop is only ten minutes’ drive from the training ground and they can just meet there since both are driving.

Matthias agrees, so Erik walks back to the changing room. He expects it to be empty, since it’s quite late and he has seen most people leave. But he is wrong.

There’s another person in the changing room; the last person Erik wishes to see. Jonas is sitting on the bench. He has changed into casual clothing, and his face is unreadable. For a moment Erik hesitates; he has to walk past Jonas to get to his locker, and it seems that Jonas hasn’t noticed him—he can just leave. But something in Jonas’s facial expression makes him stop.

He seems… different—Erik doesn’t know how to put it—darker, unreachable. Not like the smiling, joyful boy that Erik knows. Not like _The Joker_.

He’s been pondering for too long, because the next thing he knows, Jonas turns his head and looks at him. “I didn’t know you were still here,” Erik says, forcing a smile.

“I suppose you didn’t,” Jonas replies, his voice flat. “Not when Matze is around.”

What? Curiously, Erik steps closer, sitting down next to Jonas. “What does Matze have to do with this?”

“You tell me.”

Erik gently shakes his head. “I still don’t get it,” he says. When Jonas doesn’t reply, Erik places a hand on his upper arm. “Jonas, what’s—?” he never finishes his question because Jonas flinches, startling Erik.

“Don’t fucking touch me,” Jonas says. He doesn’t shout; his voice remains low and flat, but Erik feels as if he has been slapped. “Just don’t,” the brunet adds, now rising up from the bench.

Erik stands up as well. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” he asks, bewildered. “Why are you acting like this?”

Jonas turns around in a swift motion. “You’re asking _me_ what is wrong with me? I can ask you the same bloody question. You’ve been avoiding me for months. Months, Erik, why?” Now he’s raising his voice. “I thought we were friends. But the moment Matze came you cast me aside. Like I mean nothing to you.”

Erik blinks, dumbfoundedly looking at Jonas. “No… No, it’s not like that at all. I—“ he pauses. “Why didn’t you tell me? You seemed… fine.” He seemed like his old self; until now.

“What else should I do? These things happen. Your friends leave you for another friends, your coach prefers another players than you. People leave you for someone better; I get it, it’s life,” Jonas says, with bitterness in his tone. “You like Matze better, that’s your choice. I just expected you to tell me. But apparently I’m not important enough.”

The way he says it makes Erik’s heart ache. How come he didn’t know that he has hurt Jonas this much? The one person that probably means the most to him. All this time Jonas was hiding behind his joker mask, fooling everyone with the smiles and laughter. Until today, when it all crumbled.

Because of Erik.

_God, what have I done?_

Erik throws his arms around Jonas’s neck, hugging him tightly. “I’m so sorry, Jonas,” he says wholeheartedly. “I’m really sorry.” Jonas doesn’t hug him back, but at least he doesn’t try to push the blond away. Erik pulls back a little to look into Jonas’s eyes. “It’s the opposite of what you think.”

Jonas looks puzzled. “What do you mean?”

Taking a deep breath, Erik places both his hands on each side of Jonas’s face. In times like this, action speaks louder than words, so he leans forward until his lips touch Jonas’s. And then he kisses him, letting his feelings take over. After only a split second of reluctance, Jonas is kissing him back, burying his fingers in Erik’s blond hair.

“It’s not about Matze,” Erik murmurs softly as they pull away, his hands still on Jonas’s face. “I avoided you because I was afraid of what I feel about you. I feared one day my feelings would get the better of me if I kept being near you.”

“That’s stupid,” Jonas says.

“I know. I’m sorry I hurt you.”

Instead of replying, Jonas pulls Erik’s head towards him and kisses him again. “That’s how I feel about you,” he says. For the first time since Erik enters the changing room, Jonas smiles.

Erik can’t help but smiles back. Then something crosses his mind, “Oh shit, Matze,” he blurts out. “I promised to meet Matze in Thier Galerie,” Erik adds, as Jonas looks at him quizzically.

“Okay,” Jonas says. “Then I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“No,” Erik says hastily, shaking his head. “You’re coming with me. I’m sure Matze won’t mind.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes,” Erik replies, taking Jonas’s hand, grasping it gently yet firmly, as though he doesn’t want to let go of it.

Jonas lets out a chuckle. “You’re such a kid,” he says jokingly. “It’s so cute, though.”

Erik laughs, still holding Jonas’s hand. “I don’t care.” He’s going to make up the time he wasted. Jonas sighs but he doesn’t try to pull his hand back.

When he’s driving his car later, it occurs to Erik that he forgot to retrieve his gloves. He shakes his head in amusement. But nothing will be able to spoil his mood. Not even Matthias’s knowing grin when he sees Jonas in Thier Galerie.

All Erik cares is that Jonas feels the same way about him.

It’s all that matters.

**Author's Note:**

> The prompt is the line "Don't fucking touch me." I hope I can write more Durmann fics after I finish my WIP. Hope you like this one! :)


End file.
